Wednesday, November 26, 2008


“Your cancer has progressed.” What ugly, scary words.

My last trip to Dr. Mutch was exactly that – my last trip. A few weeks ago, we made the decision that when the trial drug patupilone stopped working for me, I would transition to KU Med. I have an appointment with Dr. Julia Chapman in early December. She comes highly recommended, not only from Dr. Mutch, but from many in the cancer community.

Let’s take a look at the positive, shall we? I get at least two weeks break from chemo!! While it is a little scary to not have the chemo coursing through my veins and to give the tumors a chance to grow, the patupilone was really dragging me down. The next chemo is likely to do the same, but I am hoping to work with the new oncologist and the doctors at the KU Integrative Medicine Center to help me build my strength back up.

The fatigue and lack of stamina has really been overwhelming. I have been unable to get regular exercise and that in combination with the chemo leaves me without much energy for anything. I may be calling in those offers of help and rides to KC in the future!

So with Thanksgiving a day away and the sun shining, I decided I needed to focus on the positive. What am I thankful for this year? I am thankful for Richie, Madeline and Charlie. I am thankful for my wonderful family – both sides, that continue to prop me up on the good days and make me laugh on the bad days. I am thankful for all my friends who have stood by my side and encouraged me to stay strong.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Chicken Soup

I wish I knew if it was menopause, the chemo or just good deeds that make me so weepy lately.

We just received a gift of homemade chicken soup. When asked how I felt (strong until that point) I started getting teary eyed. What is it that makes this happen? Maybe it is the uncertainty of these days, the first holiday since my dad died is coming, the fact that I am only 44 years old and have cancer!

I head to St. Louis tomorrow. I have a CTscan scheduled for Tuesday and a visit with the oncologist and chemo on Wednesday. My onc wants to keep a close eye on those tumors because my numbers continue to rise, but the tumors seem to be staying the same. I don't know if I will be getting the study drug on Wednesday or something else. I have also been doing lots of research into integrative medicine. There is a belief by some in the medical community that good diet and exercise combined with supplemental support (alternative therapies) can help a cancer patient survive and lead a cancer free life. This makes sense to me and I am working on finding the right group to work with....

When the sun peeks out from behind the clouds, I feel hope return. I am really doing well considering the circumstances. And I want to thank everyone again for all you have done, have offered to do and will do when we ask in the future! Lots of love, Maggie

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Election Day

Every election day since Madeline and Charlie have been in our lives, we have taken them with us to vote. We did so again this morning and Madeline remarked that she will be voting the next time we go to a national election. WOW! How time flies...

Which makes me think, I have been a cancer survivor now since July 2007. I am not feeling too well today, but I am HERE and that is a big thing. We got to do our normal routine this morning and I feel so lucky to be able to do those things. So even though I don't feel my best today, I still have today and given the circumstances I think that is a pretty wonderful thing.

Love to all and thanks for all you do for us!