Friday, March 13, 2009

Back in the saddle again....

At my vitamin C infusion yesterday I met an angel. Her name is Olive and she was exactly what I needed and what I asked for when I prayed for help. I was feeling very shaky.

I had a checkup with my urologist Friday and a checkup with my oncologist Monday. I am healing nicely. I am not fully recovered from the surgery just yet and will have the catheter for at least another three weeks. But the time has come to return to chemo. I knew this was the plan and was not likely to change, but it is still depressing. I don’t know anyone who looks forward to chemotherapy.

I will go back on doxil, which I started way back in December before my latest surgery. Doxil can be relatively benign in terms of side effects or it can be nasty. It’s a crapshoot and I won’t know until it starts how my system will handle the side effects. I will be having a vitamin C treatment before my chemo and from what I understand that can really help mitigate the side effects of chemo.

I had a CA125 blood test of 100 in February. This made me happy, but the CA125 has never been a good indicator for me and I tried not to get too excited. And for good reason because Monday's CA125 was at 600. I am trying to focus on how I am feeling, which is GOOD. I feel strong.

Olive told me her story. She has been receiving vitamin C infusions for almost five years. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, had carbo/taxol (just like me) and her cancer was resistant to the carbo (just like me.) She had two years of doxil infusions and has been cancer free for three years. She wrapped me in her arms when we said goodbye and I knew she had been sent to help me. Olive is a survivor (just like me.)

So I am climbing ‘back in the saddle’ again. Chemo starts Monday, March 23. I will have infusions once a month and continue with the twice weekly vitamin C.

I am looking forward to the springtime and hoping for continued good health. As I write this, I see a female cardinal on a branch. This bird and her mate are here every spring. They nest in the grapevine on the north fence. I love to see the flash of color and know they have returned to our yard. It is a reassuring sign that in spite of cancer, life goes on.