Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Another update

Good news! I do love to share good news. After I started back on the nasty carbo/taxol chemo treatment in July, I had an immediate drop in my ca125. I think it went from 357 to 62. And then it started to creep back up. Two weeks ago, it had reached 109 and I was thinking that this was an indication that the therapy was not working for me. But today, I have positive results from yesterday's ctscan and bloodwork. My ca125 was at 111, really a negligible increase. The ctscan shows that I still have no metastices to my chest and abdomen and the tumor on my bladder measures slightly smaller than the last scan. How about that news? I have recently been telling people that I am holding my own and I REALLY am! Maybe this is an indication that the roller coaster is changing course yet again. I'll take that because I like the highs. This also means that I must continue on the course I've chosen, more chemo, more nausea, more fatigue. It took a long time for me to grow this cancer, it's going to take a long time to get well.

We are all doing pretty well. M and C continue to amaze me. I cannot imagine really, how difficult it must be to be going through the teen years WITH a mom who has cancer. Yet every day they get up, go to school and continue to live their lives. This is really sappy but it makes me think of the lyrics from the song 'Something Good' from The Sound of Music.

Nothing comes from nothing
Nothing ever could
So somewhere in my youth or childhood
I must have done something good

I really do think that if nothing else, if my life ends soon, if I die tomorrow, my beautiful children will live on and for that I am so very thankful.

Richie is doing well too. We both love Autumn and this time of year just makes me happy. I love the change in season and the cool quality of the days. I love jeans and sweaters and bundling up in a jacket. The only hard part of the weather now is my bald head. It's a little chilly with out any hair and my ears get so cold. A few weeks back a friend sent out a plea for headgear for me and I was the recipient of some rather beautiful scarves. I look rather elegant in them and I know that one day my hair will grow back. There is comfort in that.

We are planning more home improvement projects. We are always planning more home improvement projects. We'll probably never be done working on this house and that's okay because we are doing something we love. Or rather, Richie is doing the work and I am watching. I am going to go with Richie to Birmingham, AL for a business trip next weekend. It will be a bit of a anniversary trip - 20 years - this last September 22.

Retta has organized meals for us and we have a hot meal coming almost every other day. It is wonderful. On the days I feel good I can usually muster enough energy for a meal, but not always. These meals have been a godsend and a great chance to see people that I don't usually get to see and thank them in person for their generosity. We are very, very thankful.

My thanks to each and every one of you for your prayers and your good energy. It's working, it's really working!
Love and hugs,

Thursday, September 23, 2010

A Milestone

Richie and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary yesterday. What a good feeling. I have now known him for almost half my life. Although the last few years with cancer have been devastating, I am still happy to be where I am, with the people I am with, living the life I am living.

Sure, I would get rid of the cancer, but the rest of it, it’s all been a wonderful ride.

On my way to making more memories....