Since my cancer diagnosis in July 2007, my mantra has been, "It is what it is." I hope my meaning is clear, but for anyone who doesn't understand...this cancer is what it is. I cannot do much to change it. I can adopt a healthier lifestyle, make better choices in what I put in and on my body, but I cannot change the diagnosis. I must accept the fact that I have cancer.
In order to continue to live my life, I need to be positive. The slippery slope of depression is very attractive in some respects. I can easily see myself languishing in self pity, but I am choosing not to live that way. I have always been a 'glass half full' kind of person and I will continue to be that way.
This said, my latest visit to the oncologist causes me to pause and take a deep breath. My CA125 is back up again. The July 2007 levels were at about 800 and after eight (yep, count 'em, EIGHT!) I was down to 15. Those were good days, days of celebration. This time, though, I am back up to 150. What the hell is going on?
It could be the two hernias that now grace my abdomen or it could be....CANCER. A return of the dreaded cancer. Patience is required and this is something I have very little of, although I do believe I am getting better at taking that deep breath. What else am I going to do?