I have been reluctant to update you all because things seem to be in limbo right now. And because, as you can imagine, I tire of the cancer story. I fear my story has become so focused on cancer and yet, there is so much more going on and so that is what I will focus on for now.
Richie is very busy at work. That’s what happens when you work in publishing. There are constant deadlines and the need to always have something ‘in the can’ to go to when things blow up. He is still editing multiple titles, but his favorite and the one that takes most of his time is Motorcycle Classics. Some days I think he is still surprised that this ‘master’s thesis’ became a real magazine and he gets paid to write and research about his passion. The job comes with all the wonderful perks you might imagine....40+ hours a week, stress, managing employees, and meetings, meetings, meetings. But seriously, it really does have some great perks. And it’s a job, right? We are lucky he has one and we have health insurance.
Miss M is a fireball. She seems to be kicking and screaming her way to a future. She’s never stopped trying for something, anything, always searching and asking and doing and being. College is just around the corner. I know it will happen too quickly for all of us. I hope to get her there with little craziness from the cancer and lots of love and support. She’s got a whole family and community to help her, just like they’ve helped us up to now. We’ll go East this Spring to have a go at her college choices. I feel oddly proud that she is leaning towards all female colleges like Smith and Brown. I only hope that she looks as good on paper as she is in real life, that they see what an exceptional young lady she is and give her lots and lots of free money to attend their school.
My C. My baby. He has more faith than anyone that I will survive and thrive, I think. He, who believes he has little faith in the spiritual side of life, has more faith than all of us put together. He really has taken such leaps and bounds in the past two years in growing up. He’d done a lot of growing up before that, but it seems that recently things have jelled even more for him. I AM so proud of him. He has a few activities that he is becoming really passionate about. His heros are good people, men we know, that we’re proud and lucky to have him model. I do know he’s going to be alright. School is not necessarily his passion, but he’s smart and he’s learning. Biking is where he’s focused though. Tae Kwon Do is his exercise and drums definitely help with keeping him focused and creative. I do worry. Who wouldn’t worry about him wanting to be a cyclocross racer? I encourage him to follow his dream, because we did. Richie’s magazine was a dream. This family was my dream. Maddie dreams of a sophisticated and exciting education that will take her on worldly adventures. And C dreams of cyclocross. But I don’t want him to throw himself down mountains on a bicycle!!! It would be so unlike me to discourage him. I just want for my C to be happy.
I am so glad to still be alive, to still be with Richie and the kids. I must stay positive and find the strength to keep going for awhile. As C has said, I can’t give up yet. I have to keep trying.
Love and hugs,