I have never been much for the holidays. I like holidays, I like that we have them, but it has never been important for me to get crazy about decorations, celebrations, setting the mood.
I am not exactly a Scrooge during the holidays, but long ago I decided that I did not like the commercialization of Christmas and wasn’t willing to participate at that level. We have always had fun with the kids, but we never let ourselves go overboard with presents and decorations. The past two Christmas holidays I have been incapacitated to some extent, either recovering from major surgery or preparing for it. This year, I am relatively healthy. This year, I am going to participate more fully in celebrating Christmas.
We have our Christmas lights up and glowing. Christmas decorations have been moved from the basement to the first floor, the boxes are ready to be unpacked. We are making plans to be with our family. I am almost finished shopping for gifts. I am planning our Christmas day menu. We are hoping for an uneventful, calm, happy day.
We are getting our Christmas tree next weekend and we’ll go together, the four of us, just like we always do. There will be nothing bittersweet or sad about this holiday. I will not get sick. I will not be admitted to the hospital. I will not allow it to happen.
I got myself out for a good walk yesterday. It was spitting a bit of icy rain, but the temperature was just right at 30 degrees. Twenty years ago when Richie and I first met, we spent all our free time exploring the winter wonderland we lived in. I pulled those memories out today and held on to them while I walked downtown. I am pleasantly tired from my exercise and reminded that I need to get out everyday for that fresh air.
I am in the city today for VitC and chemo. I anticipate increased fatigue from the gemzar, but hopefully not much more. I have two weeks off before the next chemo and hopes for an even lower CA125 next week.
Thanks to all for the good words, good cheer and help with all things related to our daily dealings with all things cancer. Happy holidays, good cheer! And love, lots and lots of love.