Friday, July 3, 2009

Two Years

Tomorrow is the second anniversary of my diagnosis. Two Years!!! Sometimes I just cannot believe this is my life.

We had a pretty crazy June, but the weather has been very nice and I have been spending a lot of time sitting on the porch. I really like the porch. I have been working hard on trying to get the insurance company to support my Vitamin C therapy. Lots of paperwork, phone calls, negotiating, begging, crying - and the porch has become my office area. Depending on where I sit I can watch the neighborhood (true Alice Kravits style) or I can hide and avoid detection - just depends on my mood.

Two weeks ago I came down with another infection and after a visit with the doctor last Thursday to remove my stents, I have been feeling really, really good. The low grade infection that kept recurring was really dragging me down. And then this past Monday, I had a visit with the oncologist and then my fifth chemo treatment of doxil. My CA125 is up to 110, doubled since last month.

I hate the CA125. I hate the anticipation of the test, the anxiety, the fear, but it is the standard used by the oncologist to determine if there is possible cancer activity going on in my abdomen. BUT...the CA125 can also be influenced by irritation in the abdomen unrelated to the cancer, like infection. So, my hope is that the increased number is indicative of the urinary tract infection and not new cancer growth. It is either one or the other. So, in two weeks time, we will repeat the CA125 and then I will have a CTscan. The roller coaster is warming up and will be leaving the station soon.

So, the Fourth of July holiday is not a very exciting time for me. It certainly is a memorable time, but I think I will spend the day following my family's lead. The kids will surely want to set off something explosive and I know the dogs will be a little skittish and I feel a little Alice Kravits time coming on.....


nat said...

Our diagnosis dates are so close - mine is July 17, 2007.

That familiar and hated anxiety, how I dread it. I try to distract myself as much as possible, but it still creeps in.

My vote is that your CA125 is the result of infection. I hate that stupid number.

Big cyberhugs Maggie - hang in there!

christy said...

Ughhh. I'm sorry for the dread and the waiting and everything else. I choose infection = the upped number also. Standing by for a much lower number. xoxoxoxoxo

Mom said...

I can't believe it's been 2 years of anger, fear, elation, tears (that's because there's been more than 2 years worth), and prayers. It's so good to hear your voice sounding like 'Maggie' again, those infections were affecting you all the time, glad they're gone. Call me on your next trip to KC for one of those good talks so I hear your 'Maggie' voice again. I love you, Mom

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