I haven't had much to say lately, which, I realize, is very unusual, but not much has been happening. I have been taking my meds, my supplements, my vitamins and eating well. I have been receiving twice weekly vitamin C treatments and visiting the oncologist, the urologist and the lab. Life is moving along at it's usual pace and I almost feel normal.
But yesterday, I had good news, news that needs to be shared and so share I will. I had blood drawn on Monday for a CA125. My previous results came in at 611 which prompted the oncologist to insist that I start chemo again. Monday's number was 620! As I have said before I really don't put much weight on this number - unless it's a good one - because it hasn't been a great indicator for me and it is just one of the diagnostic tools the docs use to evaluate the cancer. But 620 is like 611 is like 600. The most important thing is that it hasn't changed much. This means the VitC, the doxil (chemo), the diet and the supplements and vitamins are doing what they are supposed to be doing. They are holding the cancer in check. That is a really good feeling.
The nice weather today helps improve my mood and I am hoping for a long spring, a slow introduction into summer. I am thinking about trying to find a part time job, something low stress. It's time to reengage in the world. This is such a hopeful time and I am feeling it.
Maggie
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Back in the saddle again....
At my vitamin C infusion yesterday I met an angel. Her name is Olive and she was exactly what I needed and what I asked for when I prayed for help. I was feeling very shaky.
I had a checkup with my urologist Friday and a checkup with my oncologist Monday. I am healing nicely. I am not fully recovered from the surgery just yet and will have the catheter for at least another three weeks. But the time has come to return to chemo. I knew this was the plan and was not likely to change, but it is still depressing. I don’t know anyone who looks forward to chemotherapy.
I will go back on doxil, which I started way back in December before my latest surgery. Doxil can be relatively benign in terms of side effects or it can be nasty. It’s a crapshoot and I won’t know until it starts how my system will handle the side effects. I will be having a vitamin C treatment before my chemo and from what I understand that can really help mitigate the side effects of chemo.
I had a CA125 blood test of 100 in February. This made me happy, but the CA125 has never been a good indicator for me and I tried not to get too excited. And for good reason because Monday's CA125 was at 600. I am trying to focus on how I am feeling, which is GOOD. I feel strong.
Olive told me her story. She has been receiving vitamin C infusions for almost five years. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, had carbo/taxol (just like me) and her cancer was resistant to the carbo (just like me.) She had two years of doxil infusions and has been cancer free for three years. She wrapped me in her arms when we said goodbye and I knew she had been sent to help me. Olive is a survivor (just like me.)
So I am climbing ‘back in the saddle’ again. Chemo starts Monday, March 23. I will have infusions once a month and continue with the twice weekly vitamin C.
I am looking forward to the springtime and hoping for continued good health. As I write this, I see a female cardinal on a branch. This bird and her mate are here every spring. They nest in the grapevine on the north fence. I love to see the flash of color and know they have returned to our yard. It is a reassuring sign that in spite of cancer, life goes on.
I had a checkup with my urologist Friday and a checkup with my oncologist Monday. I am healing nicely. I am not fully recovered from the surgery just yet and will have the catheter for at least another three weeks. But the time has come to return to chemo. I knew this was the plan and was not likely to change, but it is still depressing. I don’t know anyone who looks forward to chemotherapy.
I will go back on doxil, which I started way back in December before my latest surgery. Doxil can be relatively benign in terms of side effects or it can be nasty. It’s a crapshoot and I won’t know until it starts how my system will handle the side effects. I will be having a vitamin C treatment before my chemo and from what I understand that can really help mitigate the side effects of chemo.
I had a CA125 blood test of 100 in February. This made me happy, but the CA125 has never been a good indicator for me and I tried not to get too excited. And for good reason because Monday's CA125 was at 600. I am trying to focus on how I am feeling, which is GOOD. I feel strong.
Olive told me her story. She has been receiving vitamin C infusions for almost five years. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, had carbo/taxol (just like me) and her cancer was resistant to the carbo (just like me.) She had two years of doxil infusions and has been cancer free for three years. She wrapped me in her arms when we said goodbye and I knew she had been sent to help me. Olive is a survivor (just like me.)
So I am climbing ‘back in the saddle’ again. Chemo starts Monday, March 23. I will have infusions once a month and continue with the twice weekly vitamin C.
I am looking forward to the springtime and hoping for continued good health. As I write this, I see a female cardinal on a branch. This bird and her mate are here every spring. They nest in the grapevine on the north fence. I love to see the flash of color and know they have returned to our yard. It is a reassuring sign that in spite of cancer, life goes on.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Hello again!
I realized it has been awhile since I posted. This is a good thing – no news is good news! I have been moving slowly through each day, trying to take things slowly and listen to my body. I am still healing and cannot begin a chemo treatment yet. I won’t complain about a break from the chemo, but as the days go by I feel anxious about not having the treatments. I worry about the tumor(s) growing again.
I continue to receive vitamin C treatments at KUMed twice a week. I am also taking vitamin and mineral supplements and am following a diet designed to stop feeding the ‘sugar hungry’ cancer. This approach (including chemo) is showing some positive results for some of the ovarian cancer patients in the study. I have great hope that I will be able to beat this cancer with this approach.
As I have gotten stronger physically, I have also regained my equilibrium and feel like I have crawled out of my depression. The first 2 -3 weeks out of the hospital were very hard. I was weak physically and mentally. As the weeks have passed, I have begun to believe I can make it again and that’s a great feeling.
This past week, I sent Richie to Bozeman, MT for a holiday. Our friends live there and they welcomed him with open arms. He had three days of skiing, four nights of good friends' company and came home relaxed and happy. Bozeman was good, good medicine. We are slowly, but surely coming back to our ‘normal’ lives. It feels good to be back among the living.
Madeline and Charlie are doing well – as well as anyone would be with a mom having cancer. I know they are sad and angry sometimes, who wouldn’t be? School and friends keep them busy and we try to help keep their lives as normal as possible. I love having them around. They are wonderful medicine.
I return to the doctor in about two weeks and hope to have more to share at that point. Thanks to all who have helped us to maintain in these past few months, this year. Times have been tough, but you have all made us feel wrapped in your arms. We feel very blessed.
Love,
Maggie
I continue to receive vitamin C treatments at KUMed twice a week. I am also taking vitamin and mineral supplements and am following a diet designed to stop feeding the ‘sugar hungry’ cancer. This approach (including chemo) is showing some positive results for some of the ovarian cancer patients in the study. I have great hope that I will be able to beat this cancer with this approach.
As I have gotten stronger physically, I have also regained my equilibrium and feel like I have crawled out of my depression. The first 2 -3 weeks out of the hospital were very hard. I was weak physically and mentally. As the weeks have passed, I have begun to believe I can make it again and that’s a great feeling.
This past week, I sent Richie to Bozeman, MT for a holiday. Our friends live there and they welcomed him with open arms. He had three days of skiing, four nights of good friends' company and came home relaxed and happy. Bozeman was good, good medicine. We are slowly, but surely coming back to our ‘normal’ lives. It feels good to be back among the living.
Madeline and Charlie are doing well – as well as anyone would be with a mom having cancer. I know they are sad and angry sometimes, who wouldn’t be? School and friends keep them busy and we try to help keep their lives as normal as possible. I love having them around. They are wonderful medicine.
I return to the doctor in about two weeks and hope to have more to share at that point. Thanks to all who have helped us to maintain in these past few months, this year. Times have been tough, but you have all made us feel wrapped in your arms. We feel very blessed.
Love,
Maggie
Friday, February 6, 2009
I continue to get better every day. Yesterday I drove for the first time since December 17, 2008. It felt really wonderful and gave me a taste of the independence I crave and will have again soon. It was wonderful to pick up Madeline and Charlie and see their smiling faces. We went to the bakery for a loaf of bread and a treat to celebrate.
I am working hard to try and do something everyday, like make the bed, load some dishes in the dishwasher, feed myself. The good thing about the help we've been getting is that I didn't have to do much for myself. The bad thing is I could really get used to that - for a while anyway.
The last oncology visit was really uneventful. During surgery they found more tumor growth on my ureters. I had to have repairs done to the bladder and it has still not healed yet. I anticipate having to keep the catheter until the Spring. This is good and bad. I believe the tissue will heal so I am not afraid of any additional problems, but the catheter makes going out and about a bit of a chore. So, for now, I prefer to stay home, it's easier.
I struggle daily with the depression. Some days I feel very strong and know I am going to survive this cancer and other days, like today, I feel poorly and my mood reflects that. I either had a touch of food poisoning or a touch of the flu last night and didn't sleep at all. I had stomach cramps most of the night and day and stayed on the couch. This getting healthy thing is hard work.
Thanks for all the good wishes, meals, and help these last couple of weeks. We are so appreciative and know you are all out there pulling for us.
Maggie
I am working hard to try and do something everyday, like make the bed, load some dishes in the dishwasher, feed myself. The good thing about the help we've been getting is that I didn't have to do much for myself. The bad thing is I could really get used to that - for a while anyway.
The last oncology visit was really uneventful. During surgery they found more tumor growth on my ureters. I had to have repairs done to the bladder and it has still not healed yet. I anticipate having to keep the catheter until the Spring. This is good and bad. I believe the tissue will heal so I am not afraid of any additional problems, but the catheter makes going out and about a bit of a chore. So, for now, I prefer to stay home, it's easier.
I struggle daily with the depression. Some days I feel very strong and know I am going to survive this cancer and other days, like today, I feel poorly and my mood reflects that. I either had a touch of food poisoning or a touch of the flu last night and didn't sleep at all. I had stomach cramps most of the night and day and stayed on the couch. This getting healthy thing is hard work.
Thanks for all the good wishes, meals, and help these last couple of weeks. We are so appreciative and know you are all out there pulling for us.
Maggie
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Recovering...
I have been home now for ten days and the difference between day one and day ten is just enormous. When I came home the first day I was still full of the drugs that I had been having for the previous three weeks. I had no stamina, no energy, no ability to do much for myself.
Today, I organized my clothes. Mom made me do it because she’s been doing our laundry and she couldn’t figure out where anything went in my closet. I took a good restful nap, walked to the mailbox and went to Charlie’s junior high band concert. He was fantastic! My goal since I came home was to be able to go to this concert and walk in on my own two legs. And I did. And I got to see my baby boy play his music. He was so nervous. He was also so proud of himself and of course, I cried.
Tomorrow I go back to the doc for surgical follow up and to establish a new plan. I am getting stronger every day and I am ready to fight again.
And now, what shall my next goal be? Kick cancer's butt, mmmm, I think so....
Today, I organized my clothes. Mom made me do it because she’s been doing our laundry and she couldn’t figure out where anything went in my closet. I took a good restful nap, walked to the mailbox and went to Charlie’s junior high band concert. He was fantastic! My goal since I came home was to be able to go to this concert and walk in on my own two legs. And I did. And I got to see my baby boy play his music. He was so nervous. He was also so proud of himself and of course, I cried.
Tomorrow I go back to the doc for surgical follow up and to establish a new plan. I am getting stronger every day and I am ready to fight again.
And now, what shall my next goal be? Kick cancer's butt, mmmm, I think so....
Friday, January 9, 2009
Returning to the Real World
One week ago today, I had surgery to repair the various problems that have happened because of the tumors and various other things. I knew I would be having the fistula repairs and this was extremely important because they were causing incredible amounts of pain. What the docs didn't know until they got into the abdomen was the extent of more tumor growth around my bladder. So the surgery was longer and harder that we had imagined. The recovery has been no picnic either.
But today I really am feeling better. I have more color, more strength and a better smile on my face than I have had in a long, long time. I don't know when I will be released, mostly because my digestive tract is stubborn and until it decides to start pushing the old gas through, I wait. I sit, I read, I knit, I walk, I sleep, I sit, I wait, I walk. And none of this is a bad thing. I really need this quiet time for recovery. It has been extremely beneficial to have time to just 'be' and I think it really helps with the healing process. And the truth is that eventually, my digestive system will start working again, they will pull the NG tube, remove the staples in my stomach and off I will go.
Thanks to every one for all your prayers, good energy, kind words, and thoughts that have helped to carry us through these heavy days. When I look around at the patients beside me I realize how incredibly lucky I am. As hospital experiences go, this has been a good one, good nurses and good staff and a good quiet environment for me to recuperate in. Love and hugs and kisses to all,
Maggie
But today I really am feeling better. I have more color, more strength and a better smile on my face than I have had in a long, long time. I don't know when I will be released, mostly because my digestive tract is stubborn and until it decides to start pushing the old gas through, I wait. I sit, I read, I knit, I walk, I sleep, I sit, I wait, I walk. And none of this is a bad thing. I really need this quiet time for recovery. It has been extremely beneficial to have time to just 'be' and I think it really helps with the healing process. And the truth is that eventually, my digestive system will start working again, they will pull the NG tube, remove the staples in my stomach and off I will go.
Thanks to every one for all your prayers, good energy, kind words, and thoughts that have helped to carry us through these heavy days. When I look around at the patients beside me I realize how incredibly lucky I am. As hospital experiences go, this has been a good one, good nurses and good staff and a good quiet environment for me to recuperate in. Love and hugs and kisses to all,
Maggie
Monday, December 29, 2008
TGIF
I never thought I would use the "TGIF phrase" except for celebrating the end of the work week and to show my excitement about the weekend. But I must use it here because, Friday, January 2, I will have my surgery. It has only been 12 days since the onc diagnosed my latest problem and said that surgery was the only fix, and it will only be 16 days since the diagnosis that I will be having the surgery. But these have been long, long days.
It was wonderful to have the break from the hospital and come home for Christmas and I am very thankful for that. That was my onc's first question today and I know she gave me a great gift. Now I will be readmitted tomorrow and will work on getting my whole body ready for this next surgery. Rich and the kids will be with me and I know many of you will be with me in spirit and prayer. I should be home from the hospital within 8-10 days from the surgery depending on how well I am recovering.
My best to all, thanks for everything, Maggie
It was wonderful to have the break from the hospital and come home for Christmas and I am very thankful for that. That was my onc's first question today and I know she gave me a great gift. Now I will be readmitted tomorrow and will work on getting my whole body ready for this next surgery. Rich and the kids will be with me and I know many of you will be with me in spirit and prayer. I should be home from the hospital within 8-10 days from the surgery depending on how well I am recovering.
My best to all, thanks for everything, Maggie
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